


Don't Live To Regret Anything

by anemic_cinema



Category: Insidious (Movies)
Genre: Cooking, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Hand Jobs, Intimacy, M/M, Post-Movie(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-02-03 00:46:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1724987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemic_cinema/pseuds/anemic_cinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Elise's death, Tucker decides that he shouldn't let any opportunity at happiness slip by.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Live To Regret Anything

Elise's house doesn't feel right without her there. Tucker slumps on the couch and rubs his brow. Neither Specs or him are going to be leaving anytime soon. The video of Josh Lambert they found in the reading room is currently being transferred from the VHS tape to his computer, which is a hands off operation at this point. Specs keeps hovering, trying to be useful, but he doesn't know the technical stuff like Tucker does.

It's annoying, but it's a distraction. It's been less that 48 hours, and the shock of finding Elise dead is turning into grief. There's a sad, cringing feeling inside of Tucker's chest, and even though he knows that she's somewhere in the afterlife, it hurts so much. He doesn't know if he should cry or scream or punch a wall out of rage at the fact that his friend had her life cut short.

“The tape's halfway done transferring.” Specs's voice makes him look up. “Just a heads up.” 

“Thanks.” The bearded man mumbles. Specs's is feeling it too, he can tell by the sad, slightly confused look on his face. It's like he can't quite make sense of it, because it doesn't make sense. What happened was senseless. Murder always is, doubly so because of the circumstances of this particular event.

Specs picks up the framed portrait of Tucker and Elise. “When did this get taken?” 

Tucker smiles a little at the memory. “Remember when Elise invited us to go down to San Diego and go hiking at Mount Palomar?”

“Yeah, I didn't go.” Specs looks embarrassed now. “I've never been big on outdoors stuff.” 

“You missed out. It was really nice. We hiked up and had lunch. Elise had a good time. We were talking about going out to the Devil's Punchbowl next, out in the Antelope Valley?” Tucker's voice falters, but he collects himself. “Looks like I'm gonna be doing that solo now.”

“Hey, uh, I could go with you. It wouldn't hurt me to get out in some fresh air.” Specs puts the picture frame back down and sits down on the couch next to the bearded man. “You and Elise were real close huh?”

“Yeah.” Tucker leans against the back of the couch, his eyes drifting over the elaborate woodwork that frames the entrance of the room. He doesn't tell Specs how Elise would ask him to come over and help her cook and then help her eat. He can still smell her frying onions for her meatloaf. 

When she made that dish, she always put him on mashed potato duty. So he'd put hot, boiled potatoes through the thing she called a ricer, making them turn into a fluffy mass that was then doused with warm milk and butter. She would always ask him to bring Specs along, but he kept it to himself. It had been selfish of him, but he always thought of those moments as his special time with her. Now he feels guilty that he didn't tell Specs about it. It would have been fun to have him there too. 

“I always kinda envied that about your relationship with her. I don't think she liked me as much as she did you. I mean, you two actually had stuff in common besides what we do.” Specs sighs. “I wish I'd tried more.” Tucker winces. He wishes the same thing. 

“That's the way it always goes. You always end up regretting the shit you didn't do with someone.” As soon as Tucker says those words the cringe inside his chest rises up to his throat and he has to cover his eyes with his hand. His Adam's apple bobs furiously, trying to push that raw, animal sadness back down. He manages to do it, but his eyes still get watery. It's embarrassing as fuck as far as he's concerned, but Specs doesn't say anything. He just puts a hand on his shoulder, and squeezes it.

“It's ok.” Out of the blurry corner of his eye Tucker can see his partner take off his glasses and rub his eyes. 

'You always end up regretting the shit you didn't do with someone.' Well, it's as good a time as any to start taking his own goddamn advice. Tucker reaches out with one arm, and brings in Specs for a bear hug. The shorter man makes an “Oof” sound, but doesn't pull away or yell. Instead he hugs Tucker back. It lasts for just a little longer than a friendly hug should. When they sit back neither of them mentions anything about that, and they stay seated next to each other until the awkwardness becomes too much. 

“I'm gonna go check on the video.” Tucker rises up and makes his way back down to the reading room. Despite all the strange things inside of it, it doesn't feel scary to him. Elise once explained to them where she got all of the things inside of it, and why she had them in there. He's forgotten about most of the specifics.

Upstairs Specs stays on the couch, wishing that that hug had lasted longer.

**

“Is it always so sunny out here?” Specs squints as he puts on more sunblock on his face. The parking lot by the entrance of the park is gravel, and the landscape looks like Mars if it had bushes and tumbleweeds. 

“Yep.” Tucker shoulders his backpack. He's carrying their water since this is Specs's first hike. It's a small kindness, done mostly because he doesn't want to hear him whining.

“Should've brought sunglasses.” The shorter man scrunches his face. It's hot and bright, and he's starting to think that maybe he should have stayed at the house. 

“Yeah you should've. C'mon, we'll do the easy circuit.”

Specs follows him as they enter the trail. It goes around a deep canyon lined with short trees and bushes. When he looks down he can see tiny lizards darting around. The word “rattlesnakes” comes to mind, making him glad he has his new hiking boots on. 

They traipse around the canyon, and Specs has to stop every once in a while to take pictures on his phone. It's beautiful, so much different from where they stay in L.A. The wind keeps whipping up their hair and blowing dust in their mouths, but its fun. By the time they return to the van, the sun is going down and the park is closing up. 

“That was awesome.” Specs is limping a little. He can feel the beginnings of matching blisters on the backs of each ankle but he's too tired to worry about it. It's a good kind of tired, the kind that tells him he's going to sleep well tonight. 

“Next time we can go down into the canyon. I wanted to take it easy on you since you're a newbie.” Tucker glugs down the last of his water, tossing the bottle back into the backpack. “Wanna go get something to eat? There's a pretty good place down the road. They have fried twinkies.” 

Specs looks both disgusted and intrigued by the concept, so they drive down from the park to Charlie Brown's Farms, a place that according to the signs on the outside of it has milkshakes, barbecue, oranges and souvenirs. The dinosaur sculptures on the outside made Specs laugh, and he keeps smiling through their meal of ribs. When Tucker gets a fried twinkie, he lets him have a bite.

“That cannot be good for you.” Specs says around his mouthful, but after he swallows he licks his fork. 

“I kept telling Elise I was going to take her here so she could try it.” Tucker polishes off the rest of the fried treat. “At least you got to try it.”

“Thanks?” It sounds a little weird, but Specs lets it slide. He still can't get over how much fun he's having with Tucker. After everything they went through with the Lamberts, they needed this. Something to unwind. 

On the way back to L.A. Specs falls asleep in the passenger seat. Tucker doesn't mind. He clicks his mp3 player to something upbeat, puts the volume on low, and gets them back home. 

**

Tucker comes home to the smell of frying onions, and it makes his heart jump. When he peeks into the tiny kitchen, Specs is examining a recipe card intently as he stirs a panful of onions.

“Hey, I found this at Elise's.” They've been helping the lawyers go through her effects, taking in all the stuff that was she used for their work and then some. Carl's taken in some of it to help them out, but the apartment looks like a disaster because of it. “It looked really good so I wanted to try it out.” Specs looks up and find Tucker standing in the doorway, mouth gaping. “What?”

“Nothin'.” 

Specs's version of the meatloaf isn't as good as Elise's was, but Tucker still eats two helpings worth. Afterwards he helps Specs clean up in the kitchen. He used to do the same for Elise, so it only feels right to do that now too.

“Thanks for the help man.” Specs claps him on the back, but his hand lingers, just like it did on his knee when they were staking out the Lambert's house. Tucker doesn't want it to move this time, but the shorter man pulls it away. 

They end up watching some rerun of “Star Trek: Next Generation” together after they're done, and Tucker puts his hand on Specs's knee. Neither of them say anything, they just let it happen. It feels pretty natural. 

After everything else, Tucker doesn't want to have to regret more than he already has to regret. 

Little things change after that. Specs actually remembers to pick up Hot Pockets now, so their freezer is always full of them. Tucker buys Specs a new sketchpad. They end up eating more meals together, trading off cooking duties. Tucker's Swedish meatballs are a success, Specs's attempt at fajitas makes the smoke detector go off. 

**

“Going to bed?” Tucker leans against the doorway of the bathroom as Specs brushes his teeth. He's in his sleep shirt and boxers, but Specs knows that he's planning on staying up late tinkering with equipment. 

Specs nods, spits out the foam, and rinses his mouth. “Yeah, I'm real bushed.” He puts his toothbrush away, and exits the bathroom. Except that as he does he stops to place a kiss on Tucker's cheek. Specs keeps going, a little afraid that it was the wrong move. 

The next morning as they're about to leave the house, Tucker leans down and kisses his cheek, and ups the ante by patting his butt. 

“C'mon, let's go help some people.” He says before taking a bite of his pizza Hot Pocket. He has no consideration for time of day and what foods are appropriate for them. But Specs kind of likes that. It's just the way Tucker is, and that's alright by him. 

Pretty soon they're exchanging kisses like that on the regular, along with hugs. It feels good and natural to do it. They don't discuss it, and neither of them feels particularly weird about it. Considering all the things they've been through, it feels like it would be only natural for them to be like this. 

Then one night they get home well after midnight. Their investigation has to be put on hold until tomorrow when Carl is available. He's no Elise, but he's pretty good. Tucker still remembers how she told him he was the second best person she'd ever worked with. When he asked her who had the number one spot she just smiled. 

Tucker ends up staying up late going over the video footage and the audio they took at the house they're currently investigating. His eyes keep glazing over, and he knows he won't be able to stay up much longer. 

“Shit, I can't believe you're still up.” Specs was passing by the door to the garage that's also Tucker's workspace and bedroom on the way back from the bathroom. “You need any help?” 

“Nah, I'm gonna turn in.” Tucker closes his laptop and looks at his friend. His black hair is disheveled from laying down, and the t-shirt he's wearing has holes around the collar. The bearded man can see pale flesh through them, and it makes him want to see how it feels. “Actually you could help me with something.” It's the worst kind of line, but Specs just smiles. 

“What do you need help with?” He sounds like he's about to laugh, and his lips quirk up. Whatever it is that's developed between them lately is coming to a head, and Tucker is relieved. He isn't going to let this opportunity slip by.

“C'mere.” He waves at Specs to come closer. That's all he has to say because the shorter man comes in and sits on his lap. The added weight makes the broken down office chair that he uses sink down with a hiss and a thud.

“Is that what you need help with?” He rocks his ass against Tucker's crotch, but the bearded man shakes his head. 

“Nah, not right now. I was thinking more a warm body to sleep next to.” He kisses the back of Specs's shoulder. “And maybe make out with.”

“I can do that.” 

So Specs ends up curled up against Tucker, his head resting on his chest, the bigger man's beard resting over his own hair. Tucker's bed smells like him, and the shorter man finds that he actually enjoys it. 

“Is this weird?” Specs asks, his fingers pulling at Tucker's shirt.

“Weird how? Weird because we're two dudes?” The bearded man scratches at the back of Specs's scalp. “I think you're getting some gray hairs there.”

“Shut up. No, I mean I've been with guys before so that's not weird. What I meant was...we didn't use to get along this good.” He sits up a little and looks Tucker in the eye. He looks different without his glasses on. “What changed?”

Tucker shrugs. “I don't wanna have any regrets.”

“Was it because of Elise?” Specs is trying to get a straight answer and Tucker doesn't want to talk about it like this. So instead he pulls his friend close to him and kisses him on the lips. It's been a while since Tucker's kissed another man like that, and it feels good. Specs kisses him back, and lets go of his line of questioning for the moment. 

After that, Tucker ends up sleeping in Specs's room most of the time, and the garage becomes just their workshop. 

**

“Holy shit.” Specs's words wheeze out and his body arches into the motion of Tucker's hand. This is how it works now. They share meals, a bed, and then some. It's been a long time since Tucker's been with another man, his first and last boyfriend having been during his freshman year at community college, but neither of them care about that. What matters is that what they have going feels good, and it's making them both happy. Most of the time. Tucker's still a slob and they both still bicker like crazy, but now after the bickering there's makeup sex. 

For example, the slow, agonizingly sweet-feeling handjob that Tucker is giving Specs is to make up for the fact that he forgot to do the dishes earlier. Specs ended up doing them in a fit of pique, so Tucker wanted to express his apologies in a way that would be mutually beneficial.

“Tucker, please, so close-ah!” Specs bucks his hips, making his cock slide in the bearded man's hand.

“That's it, almost there.” He breathes out with a smirk as he moves his hand a little faster. Specs's eyes squeeze shut, he lets out a few open mouthed gasps, and he cums. It drips onto his boxers, so Tucker wipes his hand on them. 

“Man, that's gross.” Specs laughs though, and just takes off his boxers. “You're so gross.” He goes in to kiss the bigger man, their lips meeting in a series of small, soft kisses. “Love you though.”

“Damn right.” Tucker feels too lazy to ask Specs for a blowjob at the moment, so he chooses to simply enjoy the moment. “Love you too.”

He used to think that he would always live to regret saying those words to anyone. Good thing he was wrong.


End file.
